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Post by Mezzaphor on Sept 11, 2014 21:27:12 GMT
At this point, JT, you might as well just wait a little longer, until I have the epilogue up. That's the only part left, and it shouldn't take me as long as this last chapter did.
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Post by japaneseteeth on Sept 11, 2014 23:53:16 GMT
Yeah, but at least then I could help with the editing. Or were you waiting until you finish the epilogue before you posted the rest?
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Post by Mezzaphor on Sept 11, 2014 23:59:56 GMT
Yeah. I still haven't posted any new chapters to Fimfic. My plan is to finish the epilogue, make a final editing pass on the old chapters, post those revisions to Fimfic, then post a new chapter to Fimfic every two or three days.
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Post by japaneseteeth on Sept 12, 2014 0:45:02 GMT
You have the gdoc link for the new chapters? I'm almost done catching up on all the stuff on fimfic.
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Post by Mezzaphor on Sept 12, 2014 1:15:38 GMT
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Post by Mezzaphor on Sept 12, 2014 1:54:50 GMT
Though I strongly suggest you read the gdoc version of "Demolition Derpy" rather than the Fimfic version. I added two pretty significant parts to it: the dream at the beginning is now longer, and Ditzy has another conversation with Twilight while she's on her way to talk to Dr. Hooves.
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Post by japaneseteeth on Sept 12, 2014 2:56:35 GMT
Okay, I'm caught up now. Didn't leave many comments, but here are my general comments:
* I'm really impressed with how you tied everything together in a sensible way at the end. With the previous chapters I was really afraid that you would end up with a Kudzu plot, but you clearly planned it out really well.
* I feel like Derpy is a little too blase about the whole "travelling through the wormhole" thing, and the stuff on the other end seems sort of... I don't know. It felt a bit too easy how everything got resolved over there. Like once she went through, she never really had much trouble.
* The (current) final chapter looks pretty good, though I'm not quite sure how necessary the Anachronic Order is. I don't think it's too confusing, but on the flipside I'm not sure it adds a whole lot either. So I could take it or leave it. I think it's good about addressing all the unanswered plot points, but that raises the final problem:
* The last chapter is really long, probably the longest chapter in the fic. And it all comes after the climax. I get that you want to tie everything together, but it's a lot of stuff to dump after the story's main plot has already been resolved. It's kinda like at the end of "Return of the King" where there's like half an hour of content after the plotline has ended. It's all interesting stuff, but still.
Overall, really interesting though. My only real gripe with the story overall is that you have a lot of things that seem to fall foul of the Law of Conservation of Detail. E.g. a lot of stuff with a fia seems like it should have great significance, but they don't really do a whole lot over the course of the story. It's a minor thing, but I felt like it was setting up a plot thread that never materialized.
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Post by Mezzaphor on Nov 22, 2014 8:55:43 GMT
Two things. 1. The epilogue for Alarm Clock is presentable. Actually, I've had it presentable since mid-September but never got around to posting the link for some reason. Not sure why. So now I need to edit those prior chapters. Naturally, I'm not doing that. Instead... 2. I started on that Ditzy & Trixie story I mentioned elsewhere. "Black Magic Mare, Roaming Queen" is the name, and you're all welcome to read what I've got so far. It's a prequel to Alarm Clock, though I guess it could stand on its own. Two points about it: (1) There isn't any plot yet, and there really isn't going to be much in the finished product. It's more of a character piece, or maybe a Seinfeld episode in the woods. (2) I already know that certain punctuation is inconsistent. It's because I'm bouncing back and forth between writing on my PC (which lets me make smart quotes and em dashes) and editing on my smartphone (which doesn't). I'm gonna make it consistent when it's time to publish for real.
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Post by japaneseteeth on Nov 22, 2014 15:55:30 GMT
I love Seinfeldian Conversation, so this ought to be good. I'll try to read through it at some point today.
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Post by Mezzaphor on Dec 27, 2014 20:28:30 GMT
Alright, "Black Magic Mare" is done. Or done enough for feedback, at least.
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Post by Applelight Limited on Dec 27, 2014 20:36:03 GMT
Great. I'll read this tomorrow when I get out of work.
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Post by Applelight Limited on Jan 12, 2015 22:28:35 GMT
I've been looking over Black Magic Meta. Pretty good so far. Sorry it took so long though. I'm really trying to get caught up on you and JT's writings.
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Post by Mezzaphor on Jan 22, 2015 4:36:27 GMT
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Post by Mezzaphor on Feb 3, 2015 6:31:10 GMT
All of the chapters that I previously published on Fimfic, I just uploaded their thoroughly revised versions. www.fimfiction.net/story/56774/alarm-clockAs soon as I'm done editing the epilogue, I'll post the final chapters in rapid succession.
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Post by Mezzaphor on Feb 13, 2015 1:06:22 GMT
Alarm Clock is uploaded and everything! Completely finished! Alarm Clock is in the Featured Box on Fimfic!
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