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Post by Mezzaphor on Jul 11, 2014 5:06:35 GMT
I hope it's okay to make a separate thread for this. I was sort of hoping for feedback and criticism, so I didn't think it was an exact fit for the self-promotion thread. For those who've forgotten since it's been so freaking long: Alarm Clock is about Ditzy Doo and how her weird eye condition is a superpower, no a disability. She sees stuff that nopony else can see—stuff like higher-dimensional spatial anomalies, fae creatures, and eldritch abominations. She uses what she sees to solve problems that most other ponies don't even realize are problems. This story is about how one of those problems turns out to be bigger and harder-to-deal-with than she expected. Index of all chapters: docs.google.com/document/d/1cXsYjgErylCZ4YADVP497K0O5r5nBQFKFaGO2Rkg0Rs/edit EDIT: Read it on Fimfic instead: www.fimfiction.net/story/56774/alarm-clockLatest chapter, "Fridge Over Troubled Waters": docs.google.com/document/d/1LU-A1jlbiWLIDbA0jHdZ3pbZ7NiGzciA9TxL4Cu2Ysc/editFinally got the first draft of that chapter done. That's the climax right there. There's still some dangling plot threads because there's still one more chapter of denouement left (plus a short epilogue), but this chapter really should answer more questions than it raises.
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Post by japaneseteeth on Jul 11, 2014 13:39:17 GMT
I'll need to find time to reread this so I can remember the context for everything.
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Post by Applelight Limited on Jul 11, 2014 18:33:13 GMT
First of all I think the idea is absolutely fantastic. I genuinely don't think I've heard anyone pitch anything like it before. I'll try to get a read of it so far too.
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Post by japaneseteeth on Jul 11, 2014 19:24:14 GMT
It really is pretty unique, especially among Derpy stories.
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Post by Applelight Limited on Jul 17, 2014 18:24:08 GMT
Hey Meta, I read your first chapter and left some comments. I hope they don't sound too pushy. Please feel free to tell me to get stuffed.
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Post by Mezzaphor on Jul 25, 2014 4:49:02 GMT
I made changes based on some of your comments and replied to some others.
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Post by Applelight Limited on Jul 25, 2014 16:31:19 GMT
I made changes based on some of your comments and replied to some others. I saw them, and I like them. I'll get around to reading more of it this weekend too.
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Post by Mezzaphor on Jul 25, 2014 16:54:38 GMT
The way my brain works, my first reaction to prereader criticism is never a useful one. I have mull over it for a few days or weeks before I can find a way to address the critique and still make it something I'd like to read.
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Post by Applelight Limited on Jul 25, 2014 17:04:13 GMT
You can always feel free to tell me to get stuffed.
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Post by japaneseteeth on Jul 25, 2014 18:16:29 GMT
I really need to catch up on this.
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Post by Applelight Limited on Jul 25, 2014 18:17:14 GMT
Oh btw Meta, that anon? That was me. I forgot to log in first.
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Post by Mezzaphor on Jul 25, 2014 22:46:12 GMT
I assumed it was. Hmm, Applelight told me he was reading, then some anonymous user left a comment on the chapter. I WONDER WHO IT COULD BEAs for why some of your comments had your name attached and some didn't, I assumed Google was being stupid again. I really need to catch up on this. You made some predictions about how Ditzy was trying to resolve things. I want to see how you react when you see how accurate (or not) your predictions were.
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Post by Applelight Limited on Jul 26, 2014 0:46:46 GMT
Yeah I probably didn't need to mention that. I'll read chapter two tomorrow. And I'll make a start on something you wrote too JT. This is my first weekend off in three weeks and I want to make the most of it.
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Post by Mezzaphor on Sept 11, 2014 12:48:14 GMT
First draft of the latest chapter, "The Filly with the Moon in Her Head", is ready for viewing. If this version is too confusing, there's a link at the end to a version with the scenes in chronological order. I went with the anachronic order because Fabula and Sujet were at odds with each other. Specifically, the most appropriate ending scene (the conversation with Time Turner and the true final revelation of what's going on with Ditzy's alarm clock) falls chronologically in the middle of the events, and I can't think of a way to change the chronological order without sacrificing in-universe plausibility or breaking unity of time. So I'm just not depicting it chronologically. As I mentioned elsewhere, this has the side effect of letting the reader see Ditzy do some things before they see why she's doing them—giving them some idea of how Ditzy's behavior looks to the rest of Ponyville.
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Post by japaneseteeth on Sept 11, 2014 18:14:15 GMT
*still needs to reread the fic so I remember what's going on*
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